to love one's self 'tis immoral
by edwards13ducks
Summary: ehh, english assignment gone good. i don't own hellsing. ummmm, pip vlad friends moral thing, you'll see when you read it.


**OKAY! I DON'T OWN HELLSING OR ANYTHING HELLSING. I HAD TO WRITE THIS LITTLE STORY FOR MY ENGLISH CLASS AND THOUGHT, OH HELL I'LL POST IT. IT WAS FOR A "MORAL" TYPE STORY SO YA. HOPE YOU LIKE IT! I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO CALL IT. SO THAT'S WHY IT HAS ITS NAME. HEH GO AHEAD AND GIVE ME IDEAS IF YOU WANT AND I'LL CHANGE THE TITLE IF IT FITS.**

It was the beginning of fall in a small town named Barren, and much like the name states, the town was barren of too many of the technological advances that lead people forward in life. This town was old fashioned and planned to stay as such for a long time. Here is where our scene opens. It was All Hallows Eve, as the people of the town called it. It's a night where everyone dresses in costume as the tradition calls for. The tradition came from old tales that spoke of the deceased coming back to life for one night. Nobody is safe or so they say; the only way to stay so is to trick the restless spirits. By dressing as if you were dead, the ghouls wouldn't take you with them when they returned to the after life the following morning. Even though many didn't believe these old stories anymore, they still felt it a wonderful time to dress up and have fun.

Now, as we come near the festival you can hear a soothing melody from a small band in the middle of all the commotion. There were three people beneath a yellow tent playing the merry music. Off to the left of this tent stood a group of men talking, only one in particular stood out though.

This man was tall with broad shoulders, and a thick muscular build, anyone could clearly see it from the way his clothing fit his form. His skin held no blemishes and was tan, as if kissed by the sun itself. His eyes were green, and full of life. His hair was golden brown and shoulder length so he had to tie it into a braid with a white ribbon. He had been wearing a mask of a green color with the eyes cut out and a long snout of a nose that only covered half of his countenance. It no longer enclosed his perfect visage though, he had turned it so it seemed there was a second face on the left side of his cranium. The man wore a garb that suited his mask and his physique as well. He wore a white shirt with a frill collar and long sleeves. Brown pants that didn't cling like a second skin nor did they hang too loosely about his form that you had to imagine the shape of his strong well-built legs. Lastly, a long green cape brought the ensemble together. It hung from his shoulders swaying ever so slightly with the breeze of the up coming evening. Needless to say, he seemed to be a god amongst men. His name is Pip Bernadette.

Within the group standing next to the godlike man Pip, was another man. He was just taller than Mr. Bernadette but not as broad. Instead his body was half the size of Pip's, he was slender yet toned. This man wore boots, black, that went just to the middle of his calf. The pants he wore were also black tucked into the boots so that they were not covered. The shirt that the man wore was of a deep scarlet color, almost as if the shirt itself was stained from the blood of an innocent. Covering this long sleeved shirt was a black vest. His hair was loose following his jaw line and was as black as the darkest of nights; it hung about his face with slight waving from the scalp down. Unlike many of the guests of the festival, this man wore white gloves with the oddest of symbols on the back of his hands, almost like a pentagram of sorts. This was it, no cape or coat like the other men, nor did he have any special embroidering besides the white gloves, just his plain red and black attire. The only item that stood out to the passerby was the strange mask he wore. A porcelain mask of a pale beautiful face that seemed to be in a dead sleep with crimson splattered like blood on the right side of the angelic face, though grotesque, the mask was oddly gorgeous in an eerie way. This man's name who's face could not be seen, only eyes that seemed to glow a red hue from beneath the mask, my name, is Vlad; only Vlad.

Now that I have given you light to the scene let me implore you to understand my plight. Pip Bernadette is my dearest and oldest friend, and per usual for a festival he has had one to many drinks. Pip, my _dear_ friend, had everything. This man is wealthy, has a beautiful wife, and is known in several cities for his exquisite taste in art. He is also known to be cocky, never backing down from a challenge. But to be the friend of this man takes effort, time after time after time has this man insulted my intelligence. This man has done the worst you could do to a comrade, the betrayal of trust then gloating about his great fortune in a time of another's misfortune. He has scorned me in the deepest of ways, and oh how I loathe him for it. It would be fine, in a matter of speaking, if it weren't for the success he loves to flaunt about like it were nothing to him. I can see the joy he gets from making others like myself feel microscopic to his _greatness_. He could care less for those around him; even his beautiful bride knows this. For all of his sins, I vow vengeance.

Now is the time, I will act swiftly tonight. As the group chats like hens in their coop, I stay quiet plotting my actions.

"Mr. Bernadette, I still can't believe that you closed that deal for the Picasso so soon." A man with glasses spoke out from the group.

"Why, my only explanation is that no one can resist my charms. I can sell anything to anyone." Pip's voice boomed like thunder.

"Oh, excuse me, I don't recall your name sir. I'm Jorge." Another man with a kind smile approached me with his hand extended.

"Oh, Jorge, don't worry about him. He won't be in town long enough for you to introduce yourself." Brushed aside by Pip, again. That's fine; I can use this to my advantage.

Several hours pass, it's around ten 'o'clock in the evening now. I need to get out of this town. How the people here worship Pip is sickening.

"Pip, I have a wager for you." Called a man whom had rosy cheeks from his strong alcoholic beverages. "I'll bet you one hundred dollars to stay in the cemetery all by yourself. Not being able to leave until dawn." Well, this might be interesting.

"Until dawn? Well then, of course I'll do it!" Pip laughed happily; apparently he thinks he'll win the bet. Other men from the group say they'll put in another one hundred dollars each if he makes it. All I can do is smile from beneath my mask. After another half hour the group walks to the cemetery, of course I follow.

As we came upon the cemetery I can clearly see rather large tombstones. The moon was full tonight and with it came the howls of the wolves. The light of the moon shed its ghostly shadow upon everything. As the group of men came to a stop they stood frozen in front of a steel gate that loomed over the tallest of men. Seeing the shivers run down the spines of the men a head of me, I try not to laugh giddily. It's hard not to.

"All right men, here I go. Don't any of you try to stop me, for I am the great and wonderfully brave Pip Bernadette." This is what the idiotic man called out to the others. And thinking the men listened to him he started for the gate. Again I suppress laughter, for the men didn't listen to Pip, they were frozen in fear to their spots. When Mr. Bernadette opened the gate, it creaked loudly as if screaming in pain as a result from being rusty. I took this opportunity to walk away from the group; I do have plans after all.

"Okay, Pip, we'll come to get you tomorrow morning." One man said, and as if on cue all the rest of the men scurried away from the haunting place. A special thanks is in order for Mr. Bernadette, after all he's the reason they never noticed I had not fled with them. Now all I need to do is wait for the right moment. I've hidden in a tree, now I can see where ever Pip wonders off to.

Two hours, he actually fell asleep in a cemetery after two hours. I'm actually quite astonished of him. No normal person could possibly fall asleep so quickly in the resting place of the dead. Especially on All Hallows Eve, or maybe he was too intoxicated to care. Either way now is my time to work. I descend from my hiding spot to get started.

I found some chains and an old lock next to an empty tomb. Hmm, that's oddly convenient isn't it? Oh well, everything happens for a reason I suppose. I make my way over to the unconscious body that is Pip. Luckily he's sleeping sitting up so it's easy for me to tie his arms down. I also made sure he couldn't move his legs; do you know how much of a bother it is trying to carry someone while they're kicking you? Now for the tough part, I hoisted his limp body onto my shoulder. I just now noticed how heavy this man is. Now, where to put him? Oh, I know in the empty tomb, it will be the perfect place. What was that noise? Oh, Mr. perfect is awake at last.

"My head hurts. Where am I?" Troy spoke seemingly to himself. If only he knew I was there listening. Well, he did always love surprises.

"Ah, Mr. Bernadette you're finally awake. Wonderful!" I couldn't be happier.

"Vlad? Is that you?"

"Hmm, indeed. So, how is your head my dear friend?"

"It hurts. I can't move my arms, why can't I move?" Oh no, Pip seems to be getting frantic. How sad.

"Oh, that's because you're tied up. Now, let's talk." I need to hurry; the sun will be up soon.

"Okay, as soon as you untie me." Pip, oh Pip, he tried to laugh off the situation. I think he's frightened.

"But Mr. Bernadette I can't do that." I'm looking down into the tomb where he lies.

"Come on Vlad, stop jesting. Now untie me. I can admit it was a grand joke but now I want it to stop." Pip's trying to be stern now but I can still hear the waver in his voice.

"Do you know why you're here?" I'll take my time with him he is quite slow. I walked away from the tomb and I hear him struggle with the chains. "Pip, you love yourself do you not?"

"Yes I do."

"Even more than your lovely wife?" I wonder why he's so calm, ah, he must be thinking of how to escape. That will be hard to do in chains. Besides it took me a while to get the tomb's cover to enclose everything but his head beneath it.

"Vlad, you should know better. Of course I love myself more than my wife. Why would I love anyone more than myself? I'm perfection." He sounded too cocky for my taste.

"Yes, I thought as much, unfortunately. If you would have answered correctly I might have changed my mind about this whole circumstance. Oh well." I walk back over to the tomb and look inside. He's glaring at me. Sighing deeply I close my eyes and think, upon opening them I smile.

"Well, are you going to do some thing or what you fool?" I guess he doesn't know that his life is in my hands.

"Oh yes I'm going to do something. Any last words before you leave the realm of the living?" I cannot help but to smile wider.

"What are you talking about?" He still can't comprehend what's happening to him. And he cons everyone to believe he's a genius.

"Why Pip, I'm merely punishing you."

"I have done nothing! Now release me!" Shouting just won't do.

"Ah, but you have. To love oneself more than others, 'tis immoral."

"You have no right to do this, now let me out!" I think he's delirious, poor sap.

"Now, now, you only have yourself to blame. Do you have any last words, _friend_?" I'm growing tired of his insolence.

"Why are you doing this?" His voice is quivering it almost makes me regret what I'm doing, almost.

"Well since you asked, to think others are below you can prove to be a fatal flaw in your _perfection_. Without everyone else you would be nothing. You have taken advantage of those who love you the most, and you have humiliated the "tiny" people one too many times. I plan on cleansing you from this world. You take life and its beauties for granted because you are so egotistical it's ridiculous. Now you are wearing on my nerves, good-bye Pip Bernadette. Have a peaceful sleep." I go towards his feet and start pushing the top to lock up the man inside.

It only takes a few seconds to close him up. It was quiet the entire time. I lean my head down so my ear is pressed against the hard, cold stone. "Ah!" I jumped. I didn't expect him to scream. Again I was surprised that he kept screaming, as loud as he possibly could. He won't have enough air to live until morning. Oh, he's stopped now. What a relief, it was rather annoying. I take off my mask; the cool air feels luxurious on my face. I place the mask on the tomb and walk away, out of the cemetery. I'm considerably tired. I think I'll go and take it easy not here though; this resting place is for the dead not me.

**Ok, I didn't use pip's name for school so if I missed replacing his name with troy than I apologize I promise I'll fix it. I also get that it's out of character, but hey I needed a moral type thing. So tell me what you think ya? It's my first hellsing fic so constructive criticism is welcomed. Thanks for reading! **


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